Showing posts from January, 2018

Hygge Part 9 - Equality, 5 tips for cutting your stress by making clear and fair decisions

A mother of twins once decided to put a stop to arguments about “fairness” by having one twin divide whatever it was they were to share and have the other twin decide what half they wanted.  It should have been perfect, but it didn’t stop the arguments at all.  I read that story many years ago as the start of a magazine article and I remember the rest of the article being a good read on the trials and tribulations of being a mother of young twins.  
What the article didn’t do, however, was look at the issue of treating people fairly in everyday life.  We probably all mean to do it, we probably all think we do it and yet we probably all have experiences of what we perceive to be unfair treatment and we’ve probably all been unintentionally unfair to other people at some time in our lives.  
Now the reality is that nobody’s perfect and we all make allowances for that fact and it’s reasonable to expect other people make allowances for you, to a certain extent.  At the same time, we don’t li…

Motivation - why you need more than motivational quotes to get stuff done

If you're wondering why I chose that photograph for a post on motivation take a closer look at it, maybe enlarge it.  Chances are the first thing you notice is the big sign saying "DANGER KEEP OUT" and the gate to which it is attached, but look a bit more closely and you'll see there's nothing around the gate, nothing at all.  The gate is just standing on its own in the middle of an open field.  All there is nearby is grass and plants and frankly the only danger is slipping when it gets muddy.  
Now I have an embarrassing confession to make, I walked past that sign and that gate literally hundreds of times before I actually looked at it and noticed what I've just pointed out to you.  I think issues with motivation are like that too, you see a big sign in your head which is stopping you from doing something, but when you actually take a proper look at it, it’s nonsense and there's nothing there you need to worry about.
For all that, however, motivation, o…

Hygge part 8 - 8 actionable tips to create harmony in your personal and professional relationships

As the old saying goes, you can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family, to which might be added, or your colleagues.  Fortunately you can choose how you behave towards them which, in many cases, will influence how they behave towards you.  In fact, if you apply these 8 actionable tips, you’ll be able to create harmonious relationships with most people.

Before we get on to the tips, always remember that harmony starts with you.  Basically, your outward behaviour will reflect how you feel about yourself, so remember to apply these tips to yourself first and then to other people.

Accept people as they are

This is probably the single biggest step in creating harmonious relationships.  You can’t make people change and generally the more you try to force change on them, they more they will resist.  There are three points to take away from this.

1. Genuine change has to come from within, you can’t force genuine change on another person. 2. There’s a difference between being flexible…

Goal setting - make 2018 the year!

The new year is the traditional time for making resolutions, although there’s nothing to stop you making them at any time of year, the problem, as always, is sticking with them and for many people the main reason it’s so hard to stick with them is that resolutions are often written as wishes or hopes rather than actual meaningful goals.  With that in mind, this blog is an explanation of effective goal-setting.  For the record, we are going to cover the idea of SMART goals briefly, in case you don’t know about them or if you want a refresher, but if you’re happy you already know all you need (and want) to know about them, then feel free to skip ahead.
Start with SMART
SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic Targets. Specific and measurable are pretty much self-explanatory, achievable and realistic may need some clarification.  Basically achievable means it can be done, realistic means that it should be feasible for you to do it in your situation.  For example, Usa…

Hygge part 7 - resolving conflict - 3 strategies to manage conflict without losing your cool

If you’re reading this when it’s posted, Happy New Year and here’s to a great 2018.  Now the festivities of Christmas and New Year are over, it’s time to start tackling the challenges and opportunities the coming year will bring and I would suspect that over the next couple of months or so one of those challenges is going to be maintaining harmony at home and/or at work as people enter what I think of as the most challenging part of winter, that period when the holidays are over, but it’s still a long way until spring.  So let’s look at the causes of conflict and see what you can do to manage it.

Causes of conflict

Conflict is basically what happens when two or more perspectives collide.  An individual can feel internal conflict, which can manifest itself externally as frustration and/or stress and of course when individuals come together, conflict of some form can result.  Fortunately, some forms of conflict can be relatively easy to resolve, so here are 3 strategies to manage confl…